Ruining
One of my absolutely favorite lovemaking techniques is called “ruining.” That’s short for ruining a man’s orgasm. And if you don’t know how to do this, it’s something you should learn whether you are a dom in a d/s relationship, or in an egalitarian relationship. It will definitely be one of the most memorable experiences your lover has ever had. Most women try their best to avoid it, as a matter of fact, but this is a huge mistake. It takes a little courage, but you will never regret it.
What is Ruining?
Ruining is taking your man right up to the brink of orgasm and just the teensiest, tiniest bit over. The idea is to come up to the point of no return, and then give just enough stimulation so that, after a few agonized seconds, he goes over. Meanwhile, you remove your hand and do not touch him, or let him touch himself, as he cums. The result is absolutely glorious.
Let’s take a step back to see why.
What Makes Ruining Work?
As you probably know, men are constructed differently than women. If you stimulate them enough (past the “point of no return”), they will orgasm. They can’t stop it or help it. At the moment that happens, they intensely crave a downward motion that allows them to thrust – they’re built to ejaculate into the vagina, and part of their orgasm requires that they thrust against resistance at the critical moment. Withdraw that resistance and they are “ruined.” That is, they spurt out their load and are depleted. Their blood pressure goes down as usual, but then it almost instantly goes back up. They almost immediately feel the same desire they felt before sex, but they must still “recover.”
You know how men roll over and go to sleep after orgasm? That’s because of that blood-pressure dive. Well, if you ruin him, yours will desperately want to have more sex. This is great fun from a d/s standpoint, because it is possible to drain a man completely without ever giving him the full satisfaction of orgasm. He’ll be horny all night and the next day – he just won’t “feel right” until he has a satisfactory orgasm.
That does sound mean, doesn’t it?
Deliciously for him and you.
In Non-Fetish Sex
Good girls are taught to satisfy their men, and this means, as we all know, never ever stopping once the point of no return has been reached. In porn, the men may pull out, but they fully stroke themselves to orgasm – or the women do. And in most heterosexual sex between non-fetish partners, that sort of satisfaction is generally regarded as the entire aim of intercourse.
Of course, most men are far more interested in their satisfaction than yours, right?
But good girls always deliver.
Suppose you don’t. If you ruin your guy just one time properly, you will give him a unique experience that is both more intense (my husband says he feels like his head is going to explode!) and more mind-blowing than he’s ever had.
Here’s How to Do It
You probably think that the point of no return comes when your guy’s balls scrunch up and he starts contracting all his muscles before that one last thrust.
Actually, it comes just a few seconds before that. It takes practice to find the exact right moment to pull away.
If you can read your guy pretty well, you can ruin him without warning, and that is the best thing. If he lets you tie him down, this is especially effective. Just go till you think he might be about to go past the point and stop. And wait. This in itself will drive him crazy as a teasing technique, right? And if he goes over, just watch him. DO NOT TOUCH HIM! And do not let him touch himself, although you will see that every fiber in his body wants to.
And if the first time you stop, you don’t succeed, try try again. Just go back to stroking and stop again. And again, and again. Eventually he’ll go into wild contortions and all his muscles will contract. Some cum will come out, although it won’t be the usual amount. He’ll probably groan and beg you to finish him.
And you will, sort of. You will wait a second and give him just a couple more strokes and stop again – and he’ll go through the whole thing again! And you can repeat it (if he’s tied down – if not, he’s going to try to ravish you, be warned) again and again until he can no longer get hard. He’ll be soft but STILL horny.
Ruining Does Not Harm or Hurt
Ruining will drive your man batty, but it won’t hurt him. He’ll be hungry for sex immediately after you finish, and part of him won’t feel “right” until you have sex to full satisfaction. He’ll be thinking of you all the next day, and he’ll never forget what you did for him. He will, eventually, love it and probably beg you to do it again.
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