Is Any of this BDSM?
As many people reading this will know, I have recently published It’s a Woman’s World, Parts 1 and 2 (combined in one volume)(at Amazon.com; at Amazon.co.uk). It is a story involving a fiendish series of events leading to the increasing “feminization” of the protagonist, Peter Sartorius. He’s forced in a variety of ways to take on the role of a submissive woman, first at work, and eventually at home, and the process is a sort of psychological study.
Many of my followers on Pinterest call themselves “cross-dressers,” others who call themselves “sissies,” and many others who fall in various places on the d/s (domination/submission) spectrum. Many of these have cuckold fantasies, which were originally my entry into this world.
A Personal Note
If I may be personal for a second, I have found it hot to make my husband dress in panties when he witnesses me with another man. Originally, that was because of the other man’s desire, as a sort of indication that everything we were doing was consensual and safe, and that Alex wouldn’t suddenly go “postal” on us. But yes, it became more than that because it came to symbolize Alex’s helpless submission to my dominance. It symbolized my power over him, and my availability and “safety” to my lovers. A Pavlovian response was inevitable, I suppose, and now I just think it’s sexy as hell and am not sure why.
Feminization for Men
What it has meant to Alex is more complicated. He loves women, so the obvious thought that his being required to dress up as a woman was some sort of per se humiliation doesn’t work. There is a heterosexual stereotype in play, I think, though. There’s a sense that one of us is the “man,” signified by dominance and free sexual access to the “woman,” more complexly signified. And then there’s the man stripped of his manhood and power, forced to be a feminized onlooker watching his woman be satisfied by the (other) man. Doesn’t that just make you tingle? A little? Be honest!
Feminization and Power
It made me tingle in a way much different than vanilla group sex because of the POWER element. And it makes my Pinterest followers tingle. There’s an element of coercion, but mostly it is voluntary. Alex most definitely does not feel “pretty” when he’s forced to wear panties, nor does he feel feminine. He’s not interested in other men sexually. What he does with them is an expression of my will over him. What he does to the other men is an expression of our relationship, and if he is required – as he often is! – to please other men, he views it as a form of sex with me.
Cross-dressers on the other hand, get something else out of what they do. Many of them say they do it in response to feeling “pressured.” If you’re one of these, I’d love to hear more about this. What sort of pressure is relieved by cross-dressing?
Maybe it’s the desire to be a “sissy.” A sissy is a guy who dresses very provocatively as a woman. He’s not “just a woman,” he’s a “slut.” Many wear high heels, tight dresses, makeup, and other things in an effort to look like a woman. And a lot of them are very hot! Many of them fantasize about fooling other men and having sex with them. A lot of them may fantasize about being forced into doing it, but as far as I can tell, it’s what they want. They like having sex with men. Alex isn’t like that, but I’d like to see someone who is in action.
Forced Feminization – Forced to Submit by Power from Outside
Forced Feminization is something else. In It’s a Woman’s World, Peter does not want to become womanly at all at first. He hates being made to wear women’s clothes and fulfill “women’s roles” at the job. He does it for economic reasons which gradually become more and more blurred as the process continues. And who is causing it all to happen? Why are they doing it? That’s the big mystery of the story and gives it some real intellectual content and an interesting story.
But being forced to submit and then gradually giving in to the process as it changes your character and options in life is a much more fundamental psychological drama, played out by almost all of us. Many people allow themselves to be changed by their jobs. Peter, dressed in miniskirts and heels, with his cosmetics and sculpted pink nails, is just more obvious than most.