Pegging and Sissygasms

Pegging and sissygasms – a fun game for d/s or even vanilla couples. Give your guy a sissygasm

Pegging is, like Hulking, another of those activities that can be fun in either vanilla or domination/submission sex. Or maybe I should say that it’s fun even if you do not typically dominate your male partner.

So what, exactly, is “pegging?” It’s using a strap-on dildo on a harness to give your guy anal sex. The strap-on functions as a surrogate cock. As a woman, you might think you should keep the dildo small, but my experience is that a lot of men prefer them bigger, both for visual and physical effect. My favorite one is about seven inches long and normal human width. After all, the hole it is invading can handle the size, and it only takes being gentle for a few minutes until everything is adjusted.

What really makes pegging work is that the dildo either rubs – or if you use the vibrator function – vibrates, the prostate. This seems to be connected to all the sexual pleasure nerve endings. If you stimulate it enough you can, even without ever touching the penis and without its getting hard, trigger an orgasm. He can be as soft as a bunny! And women, a “soft-cock ejaculation” is fascinating to behold, although most guys who are not dominated will not want this.

I like to call an orgasm where you never touch the penis a “sissygasm,” since a guy experiencing it takes his pleasure completely passively and orgasms from penetration. However, if you’re not in a d/s relationship, it might be a bad idea to tell your guy you just gave him a sissygasm!

Guys can be so touchy!

If you give your guy a sissygasm, you have a couple of choices. To an extent, it’s going to be a ruined orgasm no matter what, since he’ll feel the lack of penis-stimulation eventually. But if you leave the dildo in there for very long after the orgasm starts, you will give him much of the satisfaction of a real-man’s orgasm, and this means that his blood pressure will drop, and he’ll feel satisfied at least for quite a while. This will have an immediate impact on his willingness to serve or continue. With that in mind, you will sometimes probably want to do just as you would in ruining any other orgasm – stop! Pull the thing out and turn it off just as soon as you think he’s about to come. If you do that, you’ll have him eating out of the palm of your hand – eating anything you want to give him to eat, which in my case is always whatever cum he does manage to spew. It’s just a principle.

But if you aren’t into d/s, you will want to handle the thing like a normal handjob, and when he comes you’ll do just as you normally do – either squeeze him out or suck him dry while still letting the dildo vibrate. That will give him an extra powerful orgasm.

I think that pegging is, from a woman’s point of view, always a domination experience. You’ll be controlling him, poking and prodding him to your heart’s content, using the dildo as an extension of yourself to deliver whatever pleasure you desire and can deliver. You can use the vibrator and set it so that it delivers vibrations to you, which can be nice, but in a way that’s just a distraction if you plan to make him come. What really makes the experience work for a woman is the feeling of being in charge. It’s a rush, and while it may not bring an orgasm, in a way there’s nothing sexier feeling than power.

If you’re a guy, you can find sissygasms addictive. My husband says that after I did it to him a few times he started fantasizing about being pegged as much as about being allowed out of the cage. Or even more. It wasn’t long before I had him doing all sorts of things he’d always sworn he’d never do!

Venge-Fucking – help me with this here…

I’m curious about what “venge-fucking” is, since any time I do it, it’s good for my partner. I’d like comments.

“Venge-fucking” is one concept I’ve never quite understood, and I’m not even sure if people mean the same thing by it. Can you help me understand?

This comes up because of a response to my post about Hulking, which as I said, is excellent either for dom/sub play or for straight vanilla play as long as the guy can tolerate the thought that his equipment, while perfect, might still be changed to give some variety and other experiences. I’ve done it both ways, and let me tell you, it’s delicious either way.

But I digress. One guy said that if presented the Hulk he’d “throw it across the room and venge-fuck the woman,” “hurting us both.” I took that as a sign that he would NOT be the sort of guy you would give the Hulk to play with. But that got me thinking. What’s the point of a “venge-fuck?”

Is it to hurt the other person, like rape? Or is it to humiliate them in some way by using them? To cap it off, are you supposed to say something hateful to ruin the experience for the other person? And is it something a woman does to a man? Or is it just an act of quasi-violence done by men who aren’t quite brutal enough to rape the woman? What’s the point?

As a woman, I sometimes might give a “mercy” fuck, either to soften some other piece of bad news or to make a guy I actually care about feel better. I don’t do that so much anymore, but… I could under the right circumstances. And then there’s just a wide variety of times I might have sex for various reasons, but I ALWAYS think I’m giving the guy a good time, so what could possibly be vengeful about that?

If you’ve done it before or talked to someone who has, can you tell me a little bit more about this venge-fuck stuff?

In the Grips of Pain

This is not a kinky post – sorry! It refers to my current physical condition, which is that I am suffering from a cold that will just not let go. If you have left me a comment, therefore, please just be patient a little while longer. Concentrating is a real job here, and it has been all I could do to submit It’s a Woman’s World Part 3 to Amazon for publication. I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, though.

It’s such a drag to be sick, but I guess a little of it every now and then is good for me, since it reminds me of what so many others have to endure constantly.

Hope you’re feeling well, dear reader, and I’ll be back to my kinky self soon.

A Call to Kink

I’m a live and let live kind of girl. BDSM sex is normal behavior and can give you more pleasure than vanilla sex. You should try it.

I am a believer in, “to each his or her own.” If it isn’t hurting someone else or creating bad things in the world that will hurt someone else, and people like doing it, then why not cheer it on? There are so many things going on in the world, and so many possibilities that one can, or might, explore, that it is almost impossible to decide what is really normal or healthy behavior. It’s a waste of time trying to do that, and a waste of life to hold yourself back from exploring.

Readers of my blog or writing know that I frequent some of those worlds of possibility. One of those is the “Woman’s World.” I also spend a lot of time in the world of cuckolding.

On the surface, I know, it seems that the worlds I create with my writing are hurting people, and there is a nefarious plot behind the It’s a Woman’s World series. It might be hard for the button-down crowd to see It’s a Woman’s World as serious literature that happens to involve a lot of kinky d/s (domination/submission) sex as a serious piece of literature, but it is one. I call it erotica, but it might also be considered a very dark psychological thriller.

But I digress.

My point is that for the most part the characters in my stories are making free choices. Some are happier than others, maybe, but these choices are almost all (at least) within the reaches of normal behavior. Every woman must at some time have fantasized about making love to someone else in front of the fascinated gaze of someone whose intense desire she wanted to stir. We all think that having people mad with desire for us, while we pick and choose whom, if anybody, we wish to please, is erotically stimulating. And almost every – if not actually every – man has at times fantasized about seeing his woman with another man. It’s wired into us.

Either as a pleasure or as punishment. And the weird thing, as we all know, is that there is a place where erotic pleasure and pain seem to merge. BDSM fantasies are one such area, and for many men that means the cuckold fantasy. Feminization is a step further out there, with “forced” being implied as a sort of permission. Isn’t that what submission is all about anyway? Permission to do what taboo forbids.

There is a chemical reason for this. Everyone has heard of endorphins, the pleasure-giving substance that our bodies create at times. Well, our bodies create it in response to weird things (like the smell of vanilla, for example), sexual pleasure, and pain. It appears that our bodies counteract painful situations by releasing pleasure-giving endorphins. That creates the paradoxical effect of pain giving sexual pleasure, and when that pain and its accompanying endorphins are combined with other sexual stimuli that are physically pleasurable, the pleasure can be significantly greater than the pleasure given in straight, non-kinky sex.

And that is why, I am convinced, so many people who taste d/s sex never fully lose the taste for it in the future. In a way, that makes my stories and those like them, dangerous. But no one ever needs to do anything they don’t want to do. Freedom is dangerous, in a way, but it’s what life is all about, too.

Enjoy yourselves. Let yourselves experience things on the fringe. Don’t hurt yourselves or other people, but check out another world. You might find an incredible amount of pleasure and satisfaction if you do. Spread the word!

The Abundance of Life and Joy

Remember that in every breath or act you could be making a memory – for yourself or someone else. Make it a good one.

I normally make kinky posts, but this time you’re on “non-kink alert.” This is just about life, and even a dom has a few days that are just… life. I exchanged a few messages with another blogger, today, and it reminded me how lucky I am. How lucky we all are to be alive. I hope you feel that at least some of the time!

Abundance

It’s easy to forget the unbelievable abundance of joy and opportunity when you are in, or have been in a painful relationship recently. But you should never forget. Even in your own darkest moments, you’re making memories all the time.

You never know who looks at you and in once glance creates a whole new world. Will it only be imagined? or will it become real? And in that moment is born the possibility of a new relationship, happiness undreamed of – a whole different life. You could take it and run with it – or you could let it slide. Just know that it’s there at every instant of your life. Things can change – they always do – and you can ride that change to better times.

It’s lovely when you get reminded of that, and I got that reminder last night as chatted with my son before sending him to bed.

I used to make up bedtime stories for my children – just whatever occurred to me, you know? And every now and then they’ll remind me of one, and we’ll laugh again. For me, they’re so long forgotten I may as well never have heard of them – a joyous reconnection. For them, it is the fabric of our relationship renewed. That’s what happened last night, and for an instant my heart almost exploded. How lucky can one woman be? I seem to be finding out.

Try to find what makes you happy – and try to live it. I’m a dom and love my kink, and I make various people’s lives richer – adding some dark colors to the palette here and there no doubt – but for the greater pleasure of us all. Do that for yourself and the people around you. Take your chance and make the most of it.