I am a believer in, “to each his or her own.” If it isn’t hurting someone else or creating bad things in the world that will hurt someone else, and people like doing it, then why not cheer it on? There are so many things going on in the world, and so many possibilities that one can, or might, explore, that it is almost impossible to decide what is really normal or healthy behavior. It’s a waste of time trying to do that, and a waste of life to hold yourself back from exploring.
Readers of my blog or writing know that I frequent some of those worlds of possibility. One of those is the “Woman’s World.” I also spend a lot of time in the world of cuckolding.
On the surface, I know, it seems that the worlds I create with my writing are hurting people, and there is a nefarious plot behind the It’s a Woman’s World series. It might be hard for the button-down crowd to see It’s a Woman’s World as serious literature that happens to involve a lot of kinky d/s (domination/submission) sex as a serious piece of literature, but it is one. I call it erotica, but it might also be considered a very dark psychological thriller.
But I digress.
My point is that for the most part the characters in my stories are making free choices. Some are happier than others, maybe, but these choices are almost all (at least) within the reaches of normal behavior. Every woman must at some time have fantasized about making love to someone else in front of the fascinated gaze of someone whose intense desire she wanted to stir. We all think that having people mad with desire for us, while we pick and choose whom, if anybody, we wish to please, is erotically stimulating. And almost every – if not actually every – man has at times fantasized about seeing his woman with another man. It’s wired into us.
Either as a pleasure or as punishment. And the weird thing, as we all know, is that there is a place where erotic pleasure and pain seem to merge. BDSM fantasies are one such area, and for many men that means the cuckold fantasy. Feminization is a step further out there, with “forced” being implied as a sort of permission. Isn’t that what submission is all about anyway? Permission to do what taboo forbids.
There is a chemical reason for this. Everyone has heard of endorphins, the pleasure-giving substance that our bodies create at times. Well, our bodies create it in response to weird things (like the smell of vanilla, for example), sexual pleasure, and pain. It appears that our bodies counteract painful situations by releasing pleasure-giving endorphins. That creates the paradoxical effect of pain giving sexual pleasure, and when that pain and its accompanying endorphins are combined with other sexual stimuli that are physically pleasurable, the pleasure can be significantly greater than the pleasure given in straight, non-kinky sex.
And that is why, I am convinced, so many people who taste d/s sex never fully lose the taste for it in the future. In a way, that makes my stories and those like them, dangerous. But no one ever needs to do anything they don’t want to do. Freedom is dangerous, in a way, but it’s what life is all about, too.
Enjoy yourselves. Let yourselves experience things on the fringe. Don’t hurt yourselves or other people, but check out another world. You might find an incredible amount of pleasure and satisfaction if you do. Spread the word!